Screaming In Silence

I moved to Detroit at the end of April after 15 years in NYC and years of my life prior in Los Angeles.


It's been pretty rough emotionally and I have to continuously remind myself that I only have today, the past is done and the future will happen next.  It can be a roller coaster of emotions.


Basically I'm alone, which is the most difficult thing.  I've met a few people and several of them have been friendly.  Still it's hard, not having anyone to speak to about how I'm feeling, my thoughts, plans, etc.


Somedays it feels as if most of my friends seem to have forgotten about me unless they have a problem they need help with, it is rare that someone picks up a phone to see how I'm doing.  That's a hard reality for me, feeling left behind.


Today I'm feeling very alone, it's not bad, I'm enjoying the quiet, although it would be nice to have a friend to get out on the town.


Going to make myself get out a little and try to enjoy this beautiful day.


I did knit a pretty amazing hat yesterday, so I try to remember quiet time isn't bad, it can be productive.


Gratitude List:


-Most days I feel pretty good physically
-I have had an incredible life filled with tons of experience, support and love
-That I am who I am and not someone else, being me isn't a bad thing
-Convertible cars
-Sunshine
-Woodlands
-Washer & Dryers in your house
-Lulu
-Fresh squeezed juice
-That I still believe in the possibility of love
-My higher power


I think I just needed to write a bit.  Clear my head.  Take a breath.  Life can be overwhelming sometimes, as someone who has lived most of her life on overdrive, sitting a day out can be a challenge.  But I know that I'll be ok and in a few hours this will pass too.