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Woo woo is how I describe the manic panic that comes over me when I start over thinking any situation. For the first week or two after my recent breakup the woo woo was a heavy battle, my head was spinning in that stressful area that I can only assume everyone goes to after major life changes. Plus I was living out of a suitcase at my parents house while they were out of town until I could move into my new apartment. My version of homeless. It knocks you out of wack.
Feeling bad about yourself, unworthy, confused, defeated, pretty much run the course of post breakup feelings then throw homelessness on top of it in the middle of an endless snowstorm and tada!
Only a few days ago I found myself sitting in my car smoking (after 18 months of non-smoking), freaking out in a panic about what exactly I wasn't quite sure, but it was enough to give me a restless night sleep in which I wrote to my best man friend of many years, "what's wrong with me? why can't I find someone to love?" He sweetly wrote back about the human condition and everyones need to be love, I'm pretty sure he said there was nothing wrong with me either, but I can't remember because I feel like I've been on a bender for the past month and my brain is filled with holes. And at the end of the day, there really is nothing wrong with me.
The next day, I felt different, it was like I crossed over in to OKville. Maybe it was the latest episode of GIRLS where Hannah returns to NYC to find Adam is in a new relationship, after she freaks out, they have a heart to heart and she realizes as much as it hurts he needed to move on. Something about that episode clicked so much for me. Yes television, smart television, plus the episode when Marni gets her ass eaten out by Desi is hysterical, whoa, I wonder what Brian Williams thought of that action.
I digress, something clicked for me this week. I'm lighter, I'm getting it and I'm healing nicely. I missed myself, she's pretty frickin awesome, every few years she gets into a relationship, takes a mini vacation and gets lost. I'm happy she is back, I'm going to work on taking good care of her this time, keeping her front and center.
And here is Marni and Desi from GIRLS incase you're not avid watcher
