Thank you

It's with a heavy heart I write this blog this morning.  I had to put to rest my best friend of 13 years Fred The Wonder Dog around 5:30am.

At the moment I think my feelings are numb, sad, confused, shock and guilt.  

I held him at the end and thanked him for being my friend, thanked him over and over.

Right now I'm in my living room, Lulu is sniffing around slightly confused.  I'm just as confused as she is, it all happened so quickly.

My friends Laurel and Will stopped by a few minutes ago.  I'm so grateful for them.  They have always had the kindest hearts.  Laurel has been Fred & Lulu's vet for the past five years, she's taken such good care of them I'll forever be in her debt.

In my purse wrapped in a little drawstring bag is Fred's collar.  I have no idea when I'll have the strength to open that bag up.  

What happened in the past several hours?  I'm so confused god.  

I don't know what to say so maybe I'll just say Thank You Fred, thank you for making my life better, for wagging your tail each time I came home, for making everyday an adventure, for being a jerk, for being full of love and life, for being my best friend, for stinky dog kisses, for letting me give you stratchys for hours on end, for keeping me warm at night, for hogging the bed for 13 years, for having the worst breath ever, for barking at anyone who came into the house, for sharing you toys with me and letting me throw you your babys and balls, for long and short walks, for putting up with me not being the best parent, for loving me, for loving Lulu.  I'm going to miss you so much words don't express it.  Thank you for letting me share your life and your death.

I love you little buddy.