Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sitting In It

I'm sitting in many uncomfortable places at the moment.  There is nothing for me to do but sit and wait.  Which is something I've only learned about in sobriety.  It's uncomfortable but not horrible or painful.  

Outstanding pieces of my life dangling out there work, money, people I care about dearly, all out of my control and for the first time in my life I feel ok with it.  I'm not freaking out, I'm sitting in it, waiting to see what happens next, maybe a check will show up, maybe the yoga dialouge I'm trying to memorize will finally stick, maybe someone will pick up a phone to talk about what's going on.  Each thing will happen in its own time so for now I wait and carry on with other pieces of my life.

Speaking of which, I returned to Bikram, last night I took a class and this morning at 6:30am I took another class. Bikram really is my yoga, it feels like my spot.  Yes, I'm happy to be back.  This week I am adjusting in vinyasa class at YTTP on Thursday at 6 and Saturday at 5.  So feel free to come out, it's on St Marks Place.

Tonight I begin working steps with my sponsee!!  What a gift.  I can't believe this is about to begin, I'm so excited, see when one part of your life is a bit off, god gives you sponsees to set you back where you're supposed to be focused.  I've always heard that but didn't get it until a few weeks ago.  Now that she is ready to really begin the work it's all coming together in a beautiful ballet of timing.

Today I have a lot of work work to do so I'm trying to stay focused, once again falling into the category of I can only do what I can do, if people aren't returning my emails and calls I wait for them and focus on something else until they surface.

I guess today's theme is just being ok with where you are today.  Yes, we need to get our taxes done and that sucks.  But everything will be taken care of, I know that it's not the end of the world if everything doesn't happen exactly in the moment I want it to happen (hello self will).  Sometimes we just need to sit in it a bit, be ok and let things take the course they were meant to take.

Have a good Tuesday, is it Tuesday? 

Shanon

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