Walking to yoga training this sunny beautiful April morning listening to the Violent Femmes.
First memory when I heard this album, summer maybe 1983, swimming in the pool at the Beltzman's house, Robin Beltzman blasted Blister In The Sun, I was 11, shes a few years older and i was blown away by the lyrics, omg, "they said why cant i get just one fuck!!" embarrassed and excited.
Then seeing the Femmes w the Peppers opening for them at The Greek in hight school, I was most likely stoned a I can't remember who I was with, anyone? Jo? Shawna? Ang? Sounds like the pack I would have seen that show with in 88 or 89.
And in this decade I saw the Violent Femmes at Lolla in Chicago. Watching from the VIP platform dancing w my posse w a giant Buddha behind us, they played right after my friend Clint (gnarls) and before the RHCP, it was a perfect moment, unleashing a wave of teenage memories that were magical. Perfect moment.
But the reason I'm writing about the Femmes today is lyrical content. Love. Every song he's singing about how sad, angry, lonely, heartbroken he is about love and he's going to do something harmful about it. Mostly to himself.
We've all been there. I'm so heartbroken I don't want to live anymore....or I don't want you to live anymore.
Then we recover and find someone else or not.
This triggered two memories of two people that died around this time of year over the past five years, both related to broken hearts.
One a young man, my friends brother, sweet and talented musician in his early 20s. Heart broken over a girl, he took something to ease his pain and never woke up.
The other an old friend, a few years my senior, beautiful, fun and smart. She had a few children, despondent over a break up she put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger, that was last year.
It makes me so sad to think about these deaths, so needless. As someone who's recovered from heartbreak there is another side, it just takes a while to get there and a lot of work. Hearts don't just heal and that's that. They need to be healed. And the solution btw isn't found in another person. Heal yourself first and new love will follow, at least that's what I believe.
A friend and I were talking about Romeo and Juliet the other evening. It makes me roll my eyes when people idolize this love story.
They were 13 and they died.
Um, that's not love, that's over dramatic teenagers.
Heal your heart and remember the right things will follow with time. You can't ski on a broken leg. Why would you? Why love on a broken heart?
Thinking of p and c hopefully at peace in heaven.
Shanon
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