By The Grace Of God

Last night I had the honor of tandem teaching my first yoga class.  Up till now I've observed and adjusted poses, but have not led a group, yesterday at 9pm I led a group of 47 souls, class begin with my words "child's pose please"

The four days leading up to this I had not been nervous.  I studied with my fellow teacher trainees all week. 10 mins before class began  a slight case of nerves kicked in, very slight.  Julia a full time teacher at YTTP and the first teacher in my training to help me was my co-pilot for the evening.  Julia is out of this world.  If you are ever blessed to take her class at YTTP you'll know it, she has an energy unlike any other person over there, Julia also speaks fluent Italian, is drop dead gorgeous, her kindness, giant smile and empathy shine through at all times.

In the front row was my yoga wife, Marisol, who's quickly become one of my closest friends, supportive, fun, brilliant, sensitive and passionate.  Marisol taught her first class the night before and guess who was in her first row :)   I didn't notice until after class Marisol had worn a really funny shirt with a cartoon bunny on it so that I would laugh. 

Tandem teaching allows us to work at a pace that's actually less frantic, we lead until the teacher feels we have gone far enough and then they take over, the transition is very smooth.  I got about 15 mins into class I think, past chair pose.

After class Julia and I sat down, the notes she gave me were invaluable.  Encouraging and also eye opening, together we discovered something new.  I also asked Julia last night if she would be open to working with me further in my studies, enthusiastically she said yes, for which I am grateful.

The teaching piece at YTTP last night was just a small portion of my day on Thursday.  It's also been a pretty interesting week. 

German Bravo who is one of our teachers began teaching yoga the year I was born invited me to observe and participate in a class he teaches once a week at a senior center on the Upper East Side.  The class consisted of approximately 10 senior, all levels, everyone was warm and friendly, we had a terrific time.  I'm very interested in working with seniors as well as kids and will return next week with German to class.  After class German invited me to meet his wife and cat at his apartment not too far from the center.  German is a former employee of the Colombian government at the United Nations, now retired.  Very intelligent and interesting person.  The conversation ran the gambit from interpersonal relationships, the universe, Wagner, AA, UN pets, children, yoga sutras, movies, etc.  German runs a yoga program at the United Nations and invited me to teach class in the future.  We are both very excited to have become friends.  His wife Geraldine is beautiful, and quick witted and of course his cat Winston is a darling.   A very special morning indeed.

I've been thinking a lot about my next steps with yoga and believe I have a small game plan for the next two months laid out.  Not too structured, but some further studies and practices to continue moving me along. 

This evening our class with do 108 Sun Salutations.  This takes approximately 3 hours.  I'm very excited.

The teaching experience has made me think about how much my life has changed in the past two years.  These are all gifts of my sobriety.  I can't wait to fully engage myself back into my AA program when yoga teachers training is over night Saturday.

Mostly I am thankful for god for giving me all of this, for giving me that moment of clairty on June 20, 2009 that told me to get help.  None of this would be possible without that moment.

Oh one shout out to my friend Lawrence who is celebrating his 1 year anniversary today!  I had the honor of having a text exchange with him last night at midnight!  Welcome again to the good life dude.  

Getting My Groove On

Today I feel out of this world.

This weekend in yoga teachers training was nothing short of fantastic.  Saturday morning we had an 8am Traditional Hot Yoga class with the Yoga To The People owner Greg Gumucio (he studies and worked with Bikram for 5 years) .  It was hot in there, Traditional Hot Yoga is the Bikram sequence.  Which is my jam.  Bikram yoga changed my life, then sobriety changed my life now it's changing again in yoga teachers training.  It continues to just get better.

Bikram Choudhury (sometimes I refer to him as my boyfriend)

Here is a nice article from The New York Times on Yoga To The People

NYT YTTP Article 2010

I think my life gets better because I have so few expectations now.  lol.  I don't know, I take my life a day at a time, sometimes a few days in advance but not too much further, otherwise I go slightly manic.  A day at a time usually works so far I've learned everything works out and really beyond death everything else is solvable.

Ever since I started the yoga teachers training this year in mid-February I've been reading Light On Yoga by BKS Iyengar.  The yoga sutras are basically like 8 steps, similar to the 12 steps of AA.  The whole thing trips me out and continues to remind me I'm doing the right thing with my life.

 BKS Iyengar

BTW last night I was watching Enlighten Up, a documentary on yoga and in the film they visit and interview Iyengar.  I was very interested so I looked him up and he has a place in Pune, India.  Here's the hook, there is a two year waiting list to take class there and you have to have had practiced Iyengar yoga for eight years! lol, I don't think I'm going to Pune anytime soon. (that rhymes).  

Check up Enlighten Up if you dig yoga or documentaries. It's really good, here's the trailer, you can get it on Hulu.

This Thursday I will tandem teach my first Vinyassa yoga class. Which basically means I am leading the class, a full time teacher will be in the room with me and when they feel I've taught enough they will step in and take over.  I might get 3 mins or 30 mins into class. Who knows!??  I'm super excited.

I'm calling this entry Getting My Groove On because I feel like I got my groove back in the last week and I'm ready to teach now.  The last few weeks I've been so frightened of speaking in front of people and not feeling connected to the dialogue.  Today I taught Superman & Camel pose in a trial run with my class and it just flowed out of me.

This entire experience in teachers training has really helped me grow.  I know that teaching is what I'm supposed to do, I am going to continue my studies, this summer I will take a kids yoga teacher certification course in June and I am observing a senior yoga class this week as I am also very interested in teaching seniors yoga.  If I can get an apprentice ship for this senior yoga class I'll be out of my mind happy.  That is my goal right now. I also really enjoy learning about the Gitas and Sutras.  Once I figure out what I want to specialize in I'll do my 500 hour training (similar to a graduate program).

Tonight I'll listen to the YTTP podcast while I bake vegan apple muffins and then write up more flash cards for Thursday's class.

Yoga is a practice not a performance.  Remember that each time you step on the mat.  You practice for yourself, be present, set your intension and have fun!!  Yoga is fun! 

Shanon

Inspired

My yoga teacher training is inspiring.  I've written this before, but something clicked this week in a different way.  For a few weeks I was having doubt about being able to do this, to finish, to have the ability to teach, I was losing my faith in myself and my love for yoga.

Living in a bit of fear.  I don't like fear and since sobriety work very hard to overcome it daily.

Something has changed.  I feel renewed and full of faith.  This week I'm dedicating my time to practicing yoga and studying. 

It also helps that I've made a friend in this training who really shares my feelings on the world, faith, love, yoga and life.  I feel incredibly blessed.

For the first time in my life I feel unconditional love from my new friends, especially Marisol and Sam.  They just support because they believe in me and I do the same because I am inspired and believe in them.  It's pretty wild.  There isn't any ego with Marisol and Sam, just a lot of unsolicited, unconditional love.  And it's like that with almost everyone in our class.  I've bonded with these two women.

Over the weekend I adjusted yoga students in the Hot Vinyassa Room at Yoga To The People on 38th Street.  The teacher was a man named Will.  He was....AWESOME.  Really energetic and for me to watch him work, speak and give his energy to this class was a incredible.  He does a lot of adjustments, very hands on with the students and really took a good amount of time to work with me, showing me new adjustments, pressures, etc.  Thank you Will, where ever you are, maybe our paths will cross again one day.  I hope to take your class!

Marisol came to the Hot Vinyassa class, she's been to several of my adjustment classes and has been my guinea pig.  Very kind of her!  I think it will be another week before I feel comfortable and reach to tandem teach in a room.  I enjoyed the Hot Vinyassa room so I'm hoping that is were I can do my tandem. 

Last night Marisol and I went to see Sri Sri Ravi Shankar at Lincoln Center.  He led a 2700 person meditation.   It was beautiful, relaxing and the best meditation I've ever had.   Mr Shankar is a beautiful soul, basically his message was we do everything for love and if you meditate everyday you'll be happy.  Pretty simple. 

So happy Monday to you.  I'm going to meditate now and take lulu for a walk. See you soon.

Shanon

But I Swear I Know My Way From Here

It's been a super busy week with the focus being on me and not external things.  Which is nice as last week was all external and had me completely tweaked sideways.

Thursday my friend Christine and I went to The Whitney to see the Edward Hopper exhibit which closes tomorrow.  It's well worth a quick swing up there to check out.  There were a few pieces that I dug, it was not the experience I had with Abstract Impressionism which drew me in and put me in a meditative state, but I enjoyed it none the less. 

Soir Blue by Edward Hopper 

This painting in particular I found completely distributing, you really should see it in person for all the small details that make you ask questions, plus the colors are breathtaking.

Upstairs on the 3rd Floor of The Whitney is an exhibit by Glenn Ligon that is not to be missed.  The piece with the Mapplethorpe's is wonderful, moments of super uncomfortable to "um, that is the biggest penis I've ever seen, wow" which moves to beautiful art that reminds you again why Mapplethrope was so celebrated.

About 12 years ago I was briefly dating a comedian who is known for his very crass comedy but he knew I loved art, so we went on a date to The Guggenheim to see a Picasso exhibit and ran across a room of Mapplethropes.  It was one of those memories I will never forget, being surrounded by photography that was inspiring with someone who was witnessing it for the first time.  Plus in a strange twist one of the photos was of an old friend of mine Smutty, who I never knew posed for Mapplethrope.  I wish I was still in touch with Smutty today so I could hear that story.  It's kind of neat to know someone who posed for this great photographer.

Last night in yoga class I we did Yin practice.  You move very slowly and hold poses for several minutes.  It was super painful.  I've decided Yin yoga is not for me.  Period.  That's ok, it's for someone else and I hope they enjoy it a lot.  I'm sure one day I'll try it again and have a different experience.

And in another twist!  I actually went out on a Friday night.  Yes ladies and gents, since I've started teacher training I've been pretty set on coming home after class on Friday and getting a good night rest.  That did not happen.  Molly and I went to Terminal 5 and saw our good friend Tad play.  The only place to watch a show at T5 is the VIP balcony, otherwise that is the worst venue I've ever been to for sight lines and sound.  Lucky we were in that balcony.  Also it's really cold in there, odd.  I love Tad, we've been friends for maybe7 years now, I was thinking about things we've been through in the past 7 years and how we used to be, oof.  Crazy.  We are such different people, thank god. This upcoming week I'm going to teach him yoga which I'm excited about!

I also did my first spit take last night.  While picturing someone naked, the thought randomly popped in my head I leaned over to tell Molly and Susan about it, took a gulp of water, started laughing and spit all the water that was in my mouth on them.  Oops.  Sorry ladies.  It was funny.  And sorry for putting that image in your head, it's awful I know. I'm still trying to erase the thought myself.

It was nice to see Susan last night, she is an incredible artist who said she is feeling uninspired and stopped drawing for now. I have one of her pieces in my house, I'm sure she'll start again soon.  She's to talented not to share that with the world.

I've completely boggled up my finances this week by not anticipating a particular payment so I'm pretty broke.  Oh well.  You live and learn.  

And everyday I second guess and then understand the decission I had to make earlier in the week regarding my friend and I no longer speaking.  This morning I woke up a bit sad as I miss them.  This will get a bit easier, but it aches a little.  There is a lyric that has been sticking in my head and giving me some strength "some would say our love is lost, but I swear I know my way from here"  I do a lot of praying.

Ok I'm off to get ready for class.  I'm adjusting this evening at YTTP on 38th St at 7pm, Hot Vinyassa if you're in the neighborhood swing by!

XO

Shanon

Kicking My Asana....

It's almost 6:30am here in Brooklyn and I'm awake from yoga teacher training weekend one, day three.

Going in on Friday night I was super nervous all day, convinced that I would be the oldest, most out of shape person in the room.  Convinced I was doing the wrong thing, when I got there none of it was true.

So far the process has been incredible.  Friday evening was a "getting to know you" it sealed that I had picked the right studio to train at, the owner Greg studied and worked for Bikram for many years!! Bikram!! He also does a great Bikram impression, at one point he used the phrase "trust the process" which got me super excited because we also use that in AA, so I'm wondering if he's part of that cult too....

Saturday was a loooooong day.  I got to the studio almost an hour early at 9am because I really just wanted to be there.  Of course I had to wait outside for 30 mins until someone let me in, but I met Erin a really nice teacher who teaches hot yoga (another name for Bikram if you don't have a franchise) and we discussed um...me.  

The day officially kicked off with a wonderful Colombian speaker named German Bravo, a yoga history expert, as well as a laundry list of interesting things, he works with mental patients teaching them yoga, and most important to me studies the brain and effects that yoga has on it!  Brain, hello!!  I speak brain!  German and I had a lovely conversation afterward and he emailed some of his writings on yoga and the brain.  Once again "in the right place" check, yes I am and apparently I've picked up a lot of information over the years because I felt very confident listening to what he was saying, much of it was familiar.

The afternoon consisted of picking a partner and teaching them something called "The Flow" which is child's pose, downward dog, plank, upward dog, downward dog.  Pretty easy (there is a longer version with warrior 1 and 2 that we worked on as well).  Not so easy, talking through each motion, especially when you don't do these poses often.  My partner and I were chosen to then teach each other in front of the entire class (aprox 50-60 people).  It wasn't horrible, but I am going to make some flash cards for sure, this morning.  Now if this was a Bikram sequence I could have taught the hell out of it, but I don't do vinyassa often enough to feel comfortable with the dialogue.  

After class I was full of energy, bought myself a new pair of yoga pants at Lulu Lemon (the best yoga pants ever) and cruised up town listening to Eminem, I was feeling a bit like the underdog fighting my way out of the trailer park for some odd reason, which is funny because I'm from Beverly Hills and I live in Park Slope, I don't think I've ever been in a trailer except for a production work rental.  But nonetheless, I was feeling feisty, and headed to 27th St between 6th & 7th Aves for Yoga To The People's Hot Yoga at 7pm.

We get all our yoga classes at all the studios free until training is over!!  Yippee. 

Hot yoga is the Bikram sequence almost word for word, at least at YTTP.  The studio is nice but could you a bit more TLC, it's slightly creepy.  Def not my type of studio if I was paying extra to practice.  YTTP also has hot yoga on 26th St & 38th St in Manhattan and a new studio in Williamsburg, I'm planning on checking all of them out.

It felt really good to stretch, their room isn't too hot, I could have gone a bit hotter, it reminded me of the temperature in the studio at Bikram Maui.  Teaching hot yoga is what I would like to do.  I just need to get this vinyassa practice down first so that I can move into hot.  

One thing I didn't dig was people making too many noises, Bikram wouldn't be having any of that, after practicing during meditation people were breathing weird and during class making all kinds of exasperated noises, um, that is distracting and wastes energy.  Quiet!  I'm focusing on me please. 

Today is breaking down "The Flow" I hope that we work on our own postures because I don't want to be a teacher with crappy postures, I'm sure that comes along eventually.  Oh so far my favorite teacher is Julia, she's got huge saucer eyes and a tongue ring, she's very friendly and to watch her move from one posture to another is inspiring.

I'm going to neti pot now, I fell a little cold creeping in.  Tomorrow I'm going to look at the apt in Queens, I'm less scared now of moving.  Guess the anxiety has fallen a bit.