By The Grace Of God

Last night I had the honor of tandem teaching my first yoga class.  Up till now I've observed and adjusted poses, but have not led a group, yesterday at 9pm I led a group of 47 souls, class begin with my words "child's pose please"

The four days leading up to this I had not been nervous.  I studied with my fellow teacher trainees all week. 10 mins before class began  a slight case of nerves kicked in, very slight.  Julia a full time teacher at YTTP and the first teacher in my training to help me was my co-pilot for the evening.  Julia is out of this world.  If you are ever blessed to take her class at YTTP you'll know it, she has an energy unlike any other person over there, Julia also speaks fluent Italian, is drop dead gorgeous, her kindness, giant smile and empathy shine through at all times.

In the front row was my yoga wife, Marisol, who's quickly become one of my closest friends, supportive, fun, brilliant, sensitive and passionate.  Marisol taught her first class the night before and guess who was in her first row :)   I didn't notice until after class Marisol had worn a really funny shirt with a cartoon bunny on it so that I would laugh. 

Tandem teaching allows us to work at a pace that's actually less frantic, we lead until the teacher feels we have gone far enough and then they take over, the transition is very smooth.  I got about 15 mins into class I think, past chair pose.

After class Julia and I sat down, the notes she gave me were invaluable.  Encouraging and also eye opening, together we discovered something new.  I also asked Julia last night if she would be open to working with me further in my studies, enthusiastically she said yes, for which I am grateful.

The teaching piece at YTTP last night was just a small portion of my day on Thursday.  It's also been a pretty interesting week. 

German Bravo who is one of our teachers began teaching yoga the year I was born invited me to observe and participate in a class he teaches once a week at a senior center on the Upper East Side.  The class consisted of approximately 10 senior, all levels, everyone was warm and friendly, we had a terrific time.  I'm very interested in working with seniors as well as kids and will return next week with German to class.  After class German invited me to meet his wife and cat at his apartment not too far from the center.  German is a former employee of the Colombian government at the United Nations, now retired.  Very intelligent and interesting person.  The conversation ran the gambit from interpersonal relationships, the universe, Wagner, AA, UN pets, children, yoga sutras, movies, etc.  German runs a yoga program at the United Nations and invited me to teach class in the future.  We are both very excited to have become friends.  His wife Geraldine is beautiful, and quick witted and of course his cat Winston is a darling.   A very special morning indeed.

I've been thinking a lot about my next steps with yoga and believe I have a small game plan for the next two months laid out.  Not too structured, but some further studies and practices to continue moving me along. 

This evening our class with do 108 Sun Salutations.  This takes approximately 3 hours.  I'm very excited.

The teaching experience has made me think about how much my life has changed in the past two years.  These are all gifts of my sobriety.  I can't wait to fully engage myself back into my AA program when yoga teachers training is over night Saturday.

Mostly I am thankful for god for giving me all of this, for giving me that moment of clairty on June 20, 2009 that told me to get help.  None of this would be possible without that moment.

Oh one shout out to my friend Lawrence who is celebrating his 1 year anniversary today!  I had the honor of having a text exchange with him last night at midnight!  Welcome again to the good life dude.  

My Life With Les

Through my last career path I spent six years working closely with the legendary Les Paul.

Les for those not familiar with the actual man, was a musician, a guitar player, a husband, a father, a son and friend.  His passion for how mechanical things worked led him down many paths but ultimately made him a legend when he invented the solid body electric guitar.  After bringing the idea of this new guitar to Gibson and being turned down, he went to another musician/inventor Leo Fender to see if he was interested in getting involved but Leo was working on his own creation, Les tried several more paths and ended back up at Gibson who built, marketed and sold the Gibson Les Paul Electric Guitar in 1952.

I met Les in 2004 when I first began working for Gibson.  Honestly I didn't really know that there was an actual man named Les Paul until I begin interviewing for the job.  But I of course had seen and heard this guitar the Gibson Les Paul many many times in my life.

When I first met Les he basically blew me off.  My gut feeling although I never heard it straight from him, only from his son Russ in a round about way, is that he thought I was a pretty girl Gibson hired and didn't even cross his mind I might know about guitars or actually play one.

Time and time again I would escort Les to a black tie event and walk the red carpet with him.  He would use me to fire up his well known antics of being a dirty old man and motor boat me, make insinuating gestures when I turned away from a camera, etc.  I didn't mind, he was 89 and it was amusing.  We both playing our parts in the circus.

For Les' 90th Birthday I put together a fantastic party for him after his event at Carnegie Hall at the new Gibson Showroom.  We had burlesque dancers, my friend Frank Radice's band rocked all night with special guests and Les loved all the attention.  My favorite part of the night was worrying about Jose Feliciano walking into things (I didn't know he was blind until that night) and then of course trying to explain to the interns they need to make sure Jose Feliciano didn't fall into things in the showroom.

As time moved on I would visit Les on Monday afternoon at The Iridium Jazz Club in mid-town during sound check, he played every Monday night until months before his death.

I loved to give him a hard time about anything and he loved to do the same.  On several occasions he asked me if I would like to sing a number at the show, I declined.  One time I finally asked him why he kept asking me to sing and he said "because I can hear in your voice you would be a fine singer"  What a compliment coming from a legend.

Of course he did wear two hearing aids.

Les would do interviews on Mondays and I would sit with him, in return for sitting there I got to hear story after story of this great inventor.  The last of the Edison-types in my humble opinion. 

I loved to ask Les about US Presidents, what they were like, he had played at The White House for every President since Roosevelt.  When he told me "I've played at The White House for every President since Roosevelt" I looked at him and said "which one? Teddy?"  He like being given a hard time.

Once I asked him about Elenore Roosevelt, 

Me: "is it true?" 

Les:"is what true?"

Me: "was she really a dyke?"

Les: "well if she wasn't I don't know who is"

When he met my chihuahua Fred for the first time and Fred climbed all over him, he was sweet "Mary had Chihuahuas" I answered again "So did Xavier Cugat"  I think he was always shocked that I knew about people who were from his time.

I honestly loved being entertained by his stories.  He made me long to have my Grandparents around me.  Stories of a long gone generation.  I think I visited him as much as I did because I felt guilty I couldn't see my own Grandmother who lived in Florida.  I would tell Les about my Nana and I would tell my Nana about Les.

Sometimes Les would be in a lot of pain in his back and I would give him a back rub.  His body was really falling apart.  We spoke about it all the time.  The frustration of being old, your body giving up and your mind being there.  The last time I saw him a few months before his death he confided to me that he was frightened about falling and breaking a bone, "if I fall and break something, that's it, I'm dead, I'll get pneumonia and die"  He did end up dying from pneumonia a few months later.

Jenny Feeney & I once "double dated" with Les and his son Russ (who's well into his 70's) to the opening of the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square.  I think Velvet Revolver was playing, all the stairs in the Hard Rock gave me a heart attack thinking about this 90+ year old man falling down them, he flew down all of them, then grabbed my hand and yelled "we gotta go see Slash" and pulled me through a crowd into the backstage.  The highlight of the night was Jenny and I completely deaf and Les turned off his freakin hearing aid.  He was smiling and watching the show, I swear my ears were bleeding, when I figured out he turned the hearing aids off I was going to kill him for making me sit through Velvet Revolver.  Urghhhh.. So typical. 

All and all I think I added a lot of value to his life.  We had pretty heavy discussions and I wasn't afraid to say "I think you're wrong"  I also made him aware of things he said he never thought of before, one afternoon before his death I said "do you realize that because of you thousands of families have food on their tables, people have jobs, careers, etc? all because of you and it continues everyday, you have that much of an impact on thousands of people each day"  He said he never thought of that and really liked it.

Les used to like to call me in the middle of the night because he was a night owl and ask questions.  I got sober two month before his death so he never really got to experience me sober late a night, usually I was drinking when he called and he totally knew it.  Which he seemed fine with, he did say something to me the last time I saw him now that I think about it, "I used to drink a 12 pack a beer a day at least, but I had to give it up or I'd be dead now"  I wonder what the story was behind that?   I like to think Les would have been proud of my sobriety.

One night in particular he called when Obama had won the presidential candidacy. I was so excited and expressed that to Les.  He really didn't think Obama was going to win because he was black and was dead set on voting for McCain.  Oh my that was a heated conversation, plus I was well over a bottle of red wine when he phoned, we were on the phone for about two hours.   I made it my goal to change this old man's mind before the election.

Les did end up voting for Obama and I saw him the day after the election.  He hugged me and cried.  "Now I've seen it all, I'm so proud of this country today"  He really had seen it all

Les met everyone, he was loved by everyone.  I have to tell you rock stars in general are pretty self centered.   If I listed the people who hadn't bothered to show up to visit him while they were in NY in the six years I was with Les you would be shocked.  Seriously, just stop by and say hello, he often felt forgotten.  One person that was always very kind was Slash.  Les used to make me call Slash and get him on the phone for him, oy.   But Slash was always there for Les. 

One more thing I had the honor of doing with Les is actually creating guitars.  Les was tired.  So when Gibson wanted to do special models that needed Les' input and design, um, I picked them out, brought the idea to Les and he loved them.   I would choose the paint, pick ups, binding, etc.  Les was always supportive.   So there is a good chance that special limited edition LP you are playing is something I designed with Les' approval :)  There is at least two or three of these guitars.

I miss my friend Les Paul.  He was a good man with a caring heart.  I can't begin to express my grattitude for having six years to get to know this man.  He could spot a bullshitter from 1000 miles, he gave me boyfriend advice, I would take my potentials over to meet him for feedback, none of them were good enough, haha.  Just like a Grandfather, protective.

I knew he was going to die a few days before he left this world.  I cried a lot.  But I do know that Les is in heaven with Mary Ford and all his friends playing, his arm isn't stuck in one position, his back doesn't hurt anymore, he can stand up and play if he chooses, drink beer, eat fattening food, chase scantily clad females....  He's happy up there. 

Continue to rest in peace my friend.  Thank you for being in my life.

Les giving the finger the night he dragged me around the Hard Rock and turned off his hearing aid! I'm most likely on the other side of this photograph.  (PS He wore this shirt all the time!  At his funeral they hung it up, I said "burn that fucking shirt"

Les as a mad scientist!

Getting My Groove On

Today I feel out of this world.

This weekend in yoga teachers training was nothing short of fantastic.  Saturday morning we had an 8am Traditional Hot Yoga class with the Yoga To The People owner Greg Gumucio (he studies and worked with Bikram for 5 years) .  It was hot in there, Traditional Hot Yoga is the Bikram sequence.  Which is my jam.  Bikram yoga changed my life, then sobriety changed my life now it's changing again in yoga teachers training.  It continues to just get better.

Bikram Choudhury (sometimes I refer to him as my boyfriend)

Here is a nice article from The New York Times on Yoga To The People

NYT YTTP Article 2010

I think my life gets better because I have so few expectations now.  lol.  I don't know, I take my life a day at a time, sometimes a few days in advance but not too much further, otherwise I go slightly manic.  A day at a time usually works so far I've learned everything works out and really beyond death everything else is solvable.

Ever since I started the yoga teachers training this year in mid-February I've been reading Light On Yoga by BKS Iyengar.  The yoga sutras are basically like 8 steps, similar to the 12 steps of AA.  The whole thing trips me out and continues to remind me I'm doing the right thing with my life.

 BKS Iyengar

BTW last night I was watching Enlighten Up, a documentary on yoga and in the film they visit and interview Iyengar.  I was very interested so I looked him up and he has a place in Pune, India.  Here's the hook, there is a two year waiting list to take class there and you have to have had practiced Iyengar yoga for eight years! lol, I don't think I'm going to Pune anytime soon. (that rhymes).  

Check up Enlighten Up if you dig yoga or documentaries. It's really good, here's the trailer, you can get it on Hulu.

This Thursday I will tandem teach my first Vinyassa yoga class. Which basically means I am leading the class, a full time teacher will be in the room with me and when they feel I've taught enough they will step in and take over.  I might get 3 mins or 30 mins into class. Who knows!??  I'm super excited.

I'm calling this entry Getting My Groove On because I feel like I got my groove back in the last week and I'm ready to teach now.  The last few weeks I've been so frightened of speaking in front of people and not feeling connected to the dialogue.  Today I taught Superman & Camel pose in a trial run with my class and it just flowed out of me.

This entire experience in teachers training has really helped me grow.  I know that teaching is what I'm supposed to do, I am going to continue my studies, this summer I will take a kids yoga teacher certification course in June and I am observing a senior yoga class this week as I am also very interested in teaching seniors yoga.  If I can get an apprentice ship for this senior yoga class I'll be out of my mind happy.  That is my goal right now. I also really enjoy learning about the Gitas and Sutras.  Once I figure out what I want to specialize in I'll do my 500 hour training (similar to a graduate program).

Tonight I'll listen to the YTTP podcast while I bake vegan apple muffins and then write up more flash cards for Thursday's class.

Yoga is a practice not a performance.  Remember that each time you step on the mat.  You practice for yourself, be present, set your intension and have fun!!  Yoga is fun! 

Shanon

I Wanna Be Sedated

It's the 10th Anniversary of Joey Ramone's Death today.  It's also tax day.  Both heavy thoughts for me.

The Ramones are one of my all time favorite bands.  I finally saw them play in I think 1996 or 1997 in what is now The Avalon in LA with my friend Andrea Pilot.  We bounced our heads to every one, two, three, four beat until we had head and neck aches, laughed so hard we cried.  Awesome!  It was also one of The Ramones last shows if not their last.  I have an autographed framed album with all the original Ramones signatures, an ex left it behind when he moved out of our East Village apartment years ago.

Shortly after the LA show I met Joey Ramone at The Viper Room.  The Viper Room was my Cheers.  Every night I showed up drank, danced, reeked havoc, was promptly tossed out by the big body guard for being obnoxious.  One night I walked into a semi-packed upstairs and right into Joey Ramone, I of course had to engage in a conversation, I cornered him, told him I enjoyed the show and then opened up a slew of questions, screaming above the piped in music.  Later I found out that he had many phoebias which I am sure I trigged all of them in our meeting.  Sorry Joey.  I was very sad to learn about his death in 2001. 

While at Gibson I had the honor of working with Marky Ramone on a short lived project for Slingerland Drums.  Marky is really sweet and his wife is lovely.  The highlight of our months together was taking Marky to Les Paul's show at The Iriduim and introducing him to Les.  

Someone remind me to write about Les please.  I have so many stories I would love to share and it's almost his birthday, I'll do that in his honor, I miss him very much. 

To this day I still blast The Ramones and dance around my living room.  I love Rock N Roll High School the Movie, which is also my friend Tara's favorite.  It takes me back to a happy fun time in music, when punk was simple and had a sense of humor.  I'm an LA punk girl at heart X being my all time fav but The Ramones were my first along with The Sex Pistols.  Thanks guys for the memories and for standing the test of time.

Ommmmmmmmm

It's been a few days since I've written, lots of yoga, speaking yoga, learning, discussing, laughing and living in yoga.

Last night my friend Marisol and I took a class our friend Sam was teaching at YTTP.  It was her second time teaching, I personally was blown away at how confident she was, she controlled the room, the practice and her dialogue was beautiful.  Very inspiring.

Yesterday I taught a little private yoga to a friend who needs to begin some exercise and help with lowering her blood pressure.  After good research I was able to put together a little 10 min practice for her to begin with, we'll gradually add weekly to her sequence.  That feels so good to help people.  

Becoming a yoga teacher isn't about the money, I am not going to pay off my mounds of debit teaching yoga, it's about sharing my love of the practice with others.

Saturday our class is taking a Traditional Hot Yoga class with the YTTP owner Greg.  This is code word for Birkam Yoga!!!  My jam!  I couldn't be more excited than taking this class with Greg.  Greg was with Bikram for five years and ran his teacher training.  I hope he holds postures extra long and turns up the heat to 120 degrees!! Bring it!!!  Bikram is my love, this is the yoga that changed my life.  I'm sitting here writing before a class and getting excited just thinking about walking into the hot room.  I'm going to bound out of bed Saturday for our 8am class!! hee hee I feel like a kid.

Also I've discovered a little pocket of Manhattan I never really explored before and am loving!! Erin, Tomoe and I walked down Greenwich St south of Canal.  Walk south down Greenwich from Canal and about 3-4 blocks in all kinds of cafes, shops, etc pop up!  It's fantastic.  I drank down there in the past, but I honestly don't remember much.  It's better for me now. lol

I have to run and get ready for Bikram, then I'm studying with Marisol tonight, we are giving each other a private vinyasa lesson, 1 hour each, then studying for our big Kosha/Chakra test that happens tomorrow night.

NYers enjoy the rest of the perfect day.

Shanon

Life

Wow my life is blessed.

Earlier today I wrote about being inspired, but it just dawned on me that I myself inspire people.

As an alcoholic I grew up with the feeling of being unworthy and less than everyone around me.  Not pretty, smart, skinny, cool enough.  I drank to forget about all of that and it worked for a really long time and then it stopped working.

When I walked into my first AA meeting at 11am on Saturday June 20, 2009 I had no idea that my life would change in the manner it has over the past 660 days.

In my past I was referred to as an Ice Queen, Bitch, Cold and as one person loves to share "don't mind her a house fell on her sister" yes, the Wicked Witch of the West.  That was my past.  I was all of those things because I was so unhappy, alcohol fueled all of that for years.

I pretended those things didn't hurt, they did.  I became all of those things to cut myself off and protect myself from being hurt further.

As I said, that was my past.  I'm not that person anymore.

A few months into sobriety I kept hearing women refer to themselves as the "sober woman they are today".  I liked the sound of that, I didn't understand it.

Now with 660 days of sobriety, approaching my 39th birthday and 2nd year of sobriety, I like the sober woman I am today.

The sober woman I am today inspires.  Something I never thought possible.  Almost daily someone writes or tells me that I inspired them in someway.  Wow, I'm so humbled. 

The sober woman I am today is happy.  I'm a happy person.  I've learned that happiness for me isn't a Prada bag or the perfect boyfriend,  it's me, it comes from within.  I create my own happiness.  (don't get me wrong here, I love shopping, my new Alexander Wang Tank Dress does create some sense of happiness and comfort, lol, I know the difference).

Apparently I am a calm person.  Which is something I laugh about because in my past I was a crazy person.  Today I'm being asked to speak to people who are upset or stressed out because I have a "calming affect" yup. 

The sober woman I am today isn't living in fear.  Yes there are things I would rather not deal with like taxes and bills, but I don't live in fear.  Yes I can feel insecure about how I look feeling less than these things don't go away over night, today I don't live in fear.  I am who I am, you can love it or not, that's ok.  I respect your decision.   I am comfortable with who I am and not living in fear.

The sober woman I am forgives but doesn't forget.  Why forget things, we can forgive, don't forget this is how we learn to not do it again. 

The sober woman I am understands that life is happening now.  When you have a life/death experience it changes you, being sober through one really changes you.  Life is now, live it,  love the people who are here, love yourself, it can be gone tomorrow.  Don't spend your life in fear of people, bills, feelings, jobs.  All of these things change and move.  Love yourself, find the things that inspire you and go for it.  Your life will change, I promise.

Shanon

Inspired

My yoga teacher training is inspiring.  I've written this before, but something clicked this week in a different way.  For a few weeks I was having doubt about being able to do this, to finish, to have the ability to teach, I was losing my faith in myself and my love for yoga.

Living in a bit of fear.  I don't like fear and since sobriety work very hard to overcome it daily.

Something has changed.  I feel renewed and full of faith.  This week I'm dedicating my time to practicing yoga and studying. 

It also helps that I've made a friend in this training who really shares my feelings on the world, faith, love, yoga and life.  I feel incredibly blessed.

For the first time in my life I feel unconditional love from my new friends, especially Marisol and Sam.  They just support because they believe in me and I do the same because I am inspired and believe in them.  It's pretty wild.  There isn't any ego with Marisol and Sam, just a lot of unsolicited, unconditional love.  And it's like that with almost everyone in our class.  I've bonded with these two women.

Over the weekend I adjusted yoga students in the Hot Vinyassa Room at Yoga To The People on 38th Street.  The teacher was a man named Will.  He was....AWESOME.  Really energetic and for me to watch him work, speak and give his energy to this class was a incredible.  He does a lot of adjustments, very hands on with the students and really took a good amount of time to work with me, showing me new adjustments, pressures, etc.  Thank you Will, where ever you are, maybe our paths will cross again one day.  I hope to take your class!

Marisol came to the Hot Vinyassa class, she's been to several of my adjustment classes and has been my guinea pig.  Very kind of her!  I think it will be another week before I feel comfortable and reach to tandem teach in a room.  I enjoyed the Hot Vinyassa room so I'm hoping that is were I can do my tandem. 

Last night Marisol and I went to see Sri Sri Ravi Shankar at Lincoln Center.  He led a 2700 person meditation.   It was beautiful, relaxing and the best meditation I've ever had.   Mr Shankar is a beautiful soul, basically his message was we do everything for love and if you meditate everyday you'll be happy.  Pretty simple. 

So happy Monday to you.  I'm going to meditate now and take lulu for a walk. See you soon.

Shanon