Saying Goodbye

About 3 years ago I was living in Brooklyn and my grandmother had recently moved back to West Bloomfield from years in Ft Lauderdale after her long time companion Bill had gotten ill.

She seemed very sad depressed.

On a telephone call she said to me, “I wish you lived here so we could be closer.”  A light went off in my head after we hung up, “I could move to Detroit, couldn’t I?  Be closer to my grandmother and help take care of her.”  Three months later I found myself packed up and on my way to live in Detroit.

It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  It has been an honor to help take care of my Nana for the past 2 years and 9 months.

We had a very special relationship, it was more than just grandmother and granddaughter, we became friends.  We talked about things in deep confidence.  She trusted me and I was honored.

Family had always been the most important thing to my grandmother and there were many things that took place in our family that had caused our family to grow apart.  This was something that shook her core.

When we were told that Dorothy was in the last hours of her life, she defied the medical experts and stayed with us for several more days.  Family gathered at her bedside to love her and say goodbye, she stayed with us.  We worried she was struggling and were perplexed with what it could be about; I had my personal thoughts on her fears and faith although Tyra one of her caregivers told me recently her faith seemed restored.

On Thursday a caring social working suggested that maybe she needed to hear goodbye from people who hadn’t been near all week, we jumped on the phone with every family and friend we could think of to help her on her journey.

After we were done, several cousins and I sat feeling good about the work we had finished.  We also realized that we had not been this close since we were children and through Dorothy our love and connection had been rekindled.  We promised to honor her, our family and ourselves by staying in each others lives.

45 mins after our realization my grandmother passed peacefully as I held her hand along with my father, my cousins Bradley and Jennifer and Teresa her incredible caregiver.

After she passed we realized she hadn’t been struggling with her own issues, she needed us to do our work before she could leave. She needed us to be ok, she needed her family to come together and be a family again.