Something incredible happens when you get sober.
First off, if you have the miracle happen, the little door/window cracks open and the message gets through you're one of the lucky ones.
Once you detox your poor body, freak out a bunch, ride the pink cloud, freak out again and have a little time under your hat you find out a secret only sober people know, nothing is that bad and eventually you'll feel better.
When your life is so bad you want to die every day and you pray for that to happen, you aren't living. That happened to me at the end of my drinking. It happened fast, my bottom, for that I am grateful, I never had a struggle with trying to stop, I just woke up one morning and walked to an AA meeting. That is of course after standing on the edge of a subway platform thinking about throwing myself and my two dogs I was carrying in front of the on coming train. I didn't, I made it to that Saturday morning meeting at Greenwood after getting Fred and Lulu safely home.
That day I heard my pain told by other people, people I would have never spoken to before for no other reason but I had no reason to speak to them. I cried, they told me I would be ok, that day my life began to change.
The thing I continue to remind myself is no matter what happens I know everything will be ok. I'm not standing on the edge of a subway platform trying to kill myself and innocent animals, I'm not trying to drink myself to death nightly in my house, I get up and take each day as it comes.
I've had the privilege of watching so many people I care about get sober, also struggle, fail, get sober again and stay sober. It's a beautiful thing to see their lives flourish.
For years I've had to sit and watch someone who I care very much about struggle, I've been to ALANON meetings, and it helped, I had to detach with love, and recently I had to speak with them again. It is so heartbreaking to see someone not know that if they just walked through that door a whole world would open up, filled with inspiring people who will be there for you, hold you while you struggle and love you unconditionally until you can learn to love yourself.
It is so sad, this persons entire life is ruled by fear.
The other day an old friend came to town and we discussed another person, a mutual friend who I've been saving a seat for in the rooms, my friend who doesn't have a problem straight up said, "they are just going to die, i think that is their bottom." Awful. But I do think they had a strong point.
Today speaking with old friends who have been taking care of my long time struggling person sadly echo'd a similar sentiment about them, "they are hopeless"
These are all words of non program people, all non addicts or alcoholics. No one is hopeless and no one has to die. I only know this because it happened to me. We can't physically help them or put ourselves in harms way to do so. These people only need our prayers and hopefully they hear when that window of opportunity cracks open to let them know it is time to get help.
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