OMG, I've been locked out of my email and blog account for over a week!
I thought about erasing the letter the hackers posted on my blog, but honestly its kind of funny so I'm keeping it posted.
Good news is I'm not in London, I don't need $1450 to get home.
Thank you for all of your concerns.
So many things to share with you but Marisol's on her way with Chinese food and we are going to play yoga Jenga and watch a movie so I need to clean up a bit.
In the meantime enjoy this music video by Danish artist Nabiha, she's awesome.
xo
Shanon
Friday, July 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
You've Got To Be Kidding Me
I'm pretty dumbfounded by things that have taken place over the course of 24 hours.
The moment I trust, I'm completely floored and watch others act like fools.
Currently I sit here perplexed by behaviors of others on such a large scale all I can do is take it in and figure that it will be interesting how things play out.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can (me) and the wisdom to know the difference.
Sounds like I need a gratitude list, so I'm writing one to put things in perspective.
Thank you for
-Monday's at the beach
-The ability to freely give back to others without the need for reciprocation
-People that make me laugh
-Seeing the effects adding or subtracting things from my life makes on my body physically
-New friends
-Working hard because it feels good
-Lulu
-Water
-Being ok with being broke
-Having beautiful clothing while still being broke
-Being able to listen to Ray Lamontagne's Trouble album again without being sad
-Fond memories
-Funny situations that really belong in a movie
-Sweet friends that listen from far off coasts
That's it for tonight, I sit watching it all play out in front of me. Turning everything over to my higher power because if I drove this ship it would be a shit show.
Shanon
The moment I trust, I'm completely floored and watch others act like fools.
Currently I sit here perplexed by behaviors of others on such a large scale all I can do is take it in and figure that it will be interesting how things play out.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can (me) and the wisdom to know the difference.
Sounds like I need a gratitude list, so I'm writing one to put things in perspective.
Thank you for
-Monday's at the beach
-The ability to freely give back to others without the need for reciprocation
-People that make me laugh
-Seeing the effects adding or subtracting things from my life makes on my body physically
-New friends
-Working hard because it feels good
-Lulu
-Water
-Being ok with being broke
-Having beautiful clothing while still being broke
-Being able to listen to Ray Lamontagne's Trouble album again without being sad
-Fond memories
-Funny situations that really belong in a movie
-Sweet friends that listen from far off coasts
That's it for tonight, I sit watching it all play out in front of me. Turning everything over to my higher power because if I drove this ship it would be a shit show.
Shanon
Monday, June 27, 2011
Flying Without A Safety Net
After the bout of insomnia last night that lasted several hours, I returned to a restful sleep.
Waking up this morning full of anxiety. Yeah!! No not really yeah at all. Boo
I'm flying without a safety net, like you would in the circus. All of my limbs are flying around me reaching out to grab things I believe will lead me to the next place in my life but none are really supporting me.
As the control freak, I seriously dislike this place.
As an artist, it's exciting.
Should I let go of the pieces and just free fall? What's the worst that can happen?
Waking up this morning full of anxiety. Yeah!! No not really yeah at all. Boo
I'm flying without a safety net, like you would in the circus. All of my limbs are flying around me reaching out to grab things I believe will lead me to the next place in my life but none are really supporting me.
As the control freak, I seriously dislike this place.
As an artist, it's exciting.
Should I let go of the pieces and just free fall? What's the worst that can happen?
Insomnia is not a four letter word
I couldn't sleep for about 12 years. Then I could. Tonight I can't. Welcome to insomnia.
Sometimes I sleep like the dead, some nights I'm up and wired. Mostly it's my brain I can't shut off and usually it's the impact of a person or situation that weighs heavy on my mind that keeps me up. There is nothing I can do about the person or situation, but yet I stay awake thinking of it.
For a while I used to IM with friends around the world. Nile Rodgers the music producer also has really bad insomnia, we became insomnia writing friends, he lives his life in the middle of the night. I might reach out and say hello in a bit.
Tonight I decided to write this blog entry. Most nights I'll do some writing when insomnia strikes. Since I've been dealing with insomnia for many years I don't fight it anymore. I'll get up write, eat, read, do the things I need to do until my body and mind are ready to return to a state of slumber. Tonight I write, I've been reading this french book on some very saucy romances so maybe that will be next on my awake hours to do list.
It's now 1:43am. I love this time of night. In Manhattan it's alive, you can leave the house and explore. Out here in Park Slope it's dead quiet. At the moment I have a cool breeze coming in 3 of the 4 windows in my bedroom, the Statue of Liberty is illuminated in the harbor and my petite dog Lulu is curled up at my side, every once in a while a little snore or coo comes from her small body.
For the past four days I have been taking a Teen Yoga Teacher Training at Karma Kids. It's a pretty intense experience, reminding me of my teen years. The earlier part was filled with really sweet memories 12 and 13 years old, running around with my girlfriends, discovering music we loved, clothes, just starting to get into boys, but not in a way that caused insomnia. 14+ really is where the trouble started, boys, drugs, drinking, high school freedom. I'm not sure if trouble is the right word more like adventure. I think I was a pretty wild teen looking back, but then again who wasn't. We were crazy, driven by hormones, add pot smoking and liquor on to that situation and we were off to the races. Running around LA? Jeez the world was our oyster.
I liked my teenage years. In the book I'm working on there are a few passages that touch on situations I got myself into as a teen that I'm not necessarily proud of, insecurity, lack of love at home, looking for acceptance, all led to me putting myself in some pretty awkward places at times. I have to look back at all situations as part of the puzzle that created who I am today, and I like who I am today so I accept them with understanding.
Thing is, speaking of who I am today....I have no idea where I am going. It's the first time in my life I am not laying out a huge plan of action and to tell the truth I'm frightened as the days wear on. I feel like I am living on extremely borrowed time at the moment. Borrowed time without a security net.
The other night someone called me a control freak, someone I really don't know well. And yes that is a super huge part of me, who I have always been. I had to become a control freak because I grew up in a house hold that was so out of control it was the only way to feel safe.
Here I am, a control freak who is desperately trying to give up control of her life. Who is for the first time following her heart instead of the practical science of being an adult. I don't know what the future holds for me.
I'll continue to write, teach & practice yoga. These are the three things that bring me total joy. I'll continue as hard as it is to give up control, turn things over to my higher power and try really hard to believe in love.
Shanon
Sunset in Park Slope from my bedroom window earlier this evening, god in action.
Sometimes I sleep like the dead, some nights I'm up and wired. Mostly it's my brain I can't shut off and usually it's the impact of a person or situation that weighs heavy on my mind that keeps me up. There is nothing I can do about the person or situation, but yet I stay awake thinking of it.
For a while I used to IM with friends around the world. Nile Rodgers the music producer also has really bad insomnia, we became insomnia writing friends, he lives his life in the middle of the night. I might reach out and say hello in a bit.
Tonight I decided to write this blog entry. Most nights I'll do some writing when insomnia strikes. Since I've been dealing with insomnia for many years I don't fight it anymore. I'll get up write, eat, read, do the things I need to do until my body and mind are ready to return to a state of slumber. Tonight I write, I've been reading this french book on some very saucy romances so maybe that will be next on my awake hours to do list.
It's now 1:43am. I love this time of night. In Manhattan it's alive, you can leave the house and explore. Out here in Park Slope it's dead quiet. At the moment I have a cool breeze coming in 3 of the 4 windows in my bedroom, the Statue of Liberty is illuminated in the harbor and my petite dog Lulu is curled up at my side, every once in a while a little snore or coo comes from her small body.
For the past four days I have been taking a Teen Yoga Teacher Training at Karma Kids. It's a pretty intense experience, reminding me of my teen years. The earlier part was filled with really sweet memories 12 and 13 years old, running around with my girlfriends, discovering music we loved, clothes, just starting to get into boys, but not in a way that caused insomnia. 14+ really is where the trouble started, boys, drugs, drinking, high school freedom. I'm not sure if trouble is the right word more like adventure. I think I was a pretty wild teen looking back, but then again who wasn't. We were crazy, driven by hormones, add pot smoking and liquor on to that situation and we were off to the races. Running around LA? Jeez the world was our oyster.
I liked my teenage years. In the book I'm working on there are a few passages that touch on situations I got myself into as a teen that I'm not necessarily proud of, insecurity, lack of love at home, looking for acceptance, all led to me putting myself in some pretty awkward places at times. I have to look back at all situations as part of the puzzle that created who I am today, and I like who I am today so I accept them with understanding.
Thing is, speaking of who I am today....I have no idea where I am going. It's the first time in my life I am not laying out a huge plan of action and to tell the truth I'm frightened as the days wear on. I feel like I am living on extremely borrowed time at the moment. Borrowed time without a security net.
The other night someone called me a control freak, someone I really don't know well. And yes that is a super huge part of me, who I have always been. I had to become a control freak because I grew up in a house hold that was so out of control it was the only way to feel safe.
Here I am, a control freak who is desperately trying to give up control of her life. Who is for the first time following her heart instead of the practical science of being an adult. I don't know what the future holds for me.
I'll continue to write, teach & practice yoga. These are the three things that bring me total joy. I'll continue as hard as it is to give up control, turn things over to my higher power and try really hard to believe in love.
Shanon
Sunset in Park Slope from my bedroom window earlier this evening, god in action.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Feeling My Feelings...then nothing at all
What happens when you accidentally stop taking your medication for several days?
Oof you feel like crap
I just spaced, house sitting, teacher training, long hours, honestly plain forgot.
So today I'm suffering the consequences. Dizzy, spaced, moments when I can't speak, the worlds don't come so I stare blankly into the sky.
Note to self: take medication, take medication
Every once and a while this happens, I forget and then receive a gentle reminder in the form of my body breaking down that I'm sick.
It usually takes 2 days for the transformation.
Lately I don't feel sick, I rarely even discuss it w people, it doesn't occur to me.
Well, I look forward to heading home and taking my medicine. Feeling off balance all day is just a crappy way to spend the day, even if you are doing things you love w amazing people.
Shanon
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sponge Bob Sad Face
I woke up feeling a bit empty this morning.
Yes, the hazy grey morning might have a bit of influence but it's a feeling that comes from the pit of your insides, just a little sad.
Then I looked at the date.
It's been four months since my doggie died.
I miss him a lot. My life has changed immensely since Fred's moved on to his next life. (I wrote about this experience and my anger at God a lot in Feb, you can look back in my blog and read if you want).
Sometimes I feel a bit silly that I could love a dog that much. But 13 years is a long time. He really was my best friend.
Anyway, it's pretty wild how our internal clocks remember these things even when our brains forget what day it is, something inside of me just clicked into a bit a sadness.
I love you buddy and miss you a lot.
I think we took this picture in December or January. He hated being kissed and I'll I ever wanted to do was hug and kiss him. He liked things when he was ready for them, such a male. Maybe he was teaching me a lesson...
Off to try Do Yoga Do Pilates studio downtown before training today. I like exploring new studios.
Shanon
ps-i'm trying a new font.
Yes, the hazy grey morning might have a bit of influence but it's a feeling that comes from the pit of your insides, just a little sad.
Then I looked at the date.
It's been four months since my doggie died.
I miss him a lot. My life has changed immensely since Fred's moved on to his next life. (I wrote about this experience and my anger at God a lot in Feb, you can look back in my blog and read if you want).
Sometimes I feel a bit silly that I could love a dog that much. But 13 years is a long time. He really was my best friend.
Anyway, it's pretty wild how our internal clocks remember these things even when our brains forget what day it is, something inside of me just clicked into a bit a sadness.
I love you buddy and miss you a lot.
I think we took this picture in December or January. He hated being kissed and I'll I ever wanted to do was hug and kiss him. He liked things when he was ready for them, such a male. Maybe he was teaching me a lesson...
Off to try Do Yoga Do Pilates studio downtown before training today. I like exploring new studios.
Shanon
ps-i'm trying a new font.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Gratitude List 6/24/11
What a week. Not long, not exhausting, just a week that flew by quickly.
It feels like forever ago my father was in town to celebrate Father's Day and my 2nd sober anniversary, that was only Monday.
Remember when you were a kid and time took so long? You couldn't wait to grow up, drive a car, your first kiss?
It flies by when we grow up. Wasn't it just snowing? Now July is a week away, how did this happen? I need to get to the beach, asap.
This weekend I'm in Teen Yoga Teacher Training, super interesting so far. I just adore the people who run this training, so kind and loving. The trainings are super organized, highly informative and fun, we have fun.
Each time I take a training I discover something new I want to study, right now it's Circus Yoga. Just the idea of this makes me want to dance in a little circle!
As well I've had this yearning to study Yin yoga. I think I wrote about the Yin class I took a week ago, feels so good to stretch out, deep long stretches.
Next week I'm supposed to head out to East Hampton to hang for a few days with a friend and do some yoga. Hopefully the weather will clear, I really want to hit the beach.
Here is my gratitude list for today....
Thank you for:
-drizzles and mist
-snuggly bull dogs and chihuahuas
-restorative yoga
-friday late night yoga plans with new/old friends
-blue sparkle pedicures/manicures
-french books about romance
-those moments when you find yourself thinking about kissing someone and you're just standing on the corner spaced out
-sage tea
-Joseph Arthur's new album
-being alive
-smiles
-hot showers
-keeping it simple
Enjoy your weekend
Shanon
Blue toes, sparkle better in the sunshine
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