Nostalgic For Love

Clearly when love is lost your mind tells you it will never happen again.  We've all been there once, twice, who can count the times? Well, maybe some of us can.  The last few days music has been reminding me of times of my life I felt love, or thought I was in love. Today was a large musical walk down memory lane. 

It's funny what can trigger a feeling.  When you get sober you are advised to stay away from people, places and things that trigger feelings to drink.  Most of the time you have to learn the hard way, doing something stupid, wanting to drink then going to an AA meeting and talking about it, you learn not to do it again, if you're one of the lucky ones.  

Music was my trigger today but in a positive way, it made me nostalgic.  Nostalgia equals happy memories. 

Hearing some songs earlier triggered a very happy time in my life, today I felt very nostalgic for love, not the love i recently lost but for a love I had a long time ago. 

This love was not perfect, it's highs and lows were intense, this love was just like a movie.

It had all the bells and whistles.  I remember the moment I thought, "oh good lord, you are in big trouble now,"  looking at him standing outside a bar in the East Village sharing a cigarette in the rain.

We had a great love for a short time and great romance, it was filled with laughter, passion and drama.  

One Christmas we went to the movies to see, "Benjamin Button" and during the most romantic part of the film where Cate Blanchette and Brad Pitt were the same age, living in their one room apartment with a mattress on the floor, never leaving except to get food, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "that reminds me of us."

Today I felt nostalgic for a moment in time, music reconnected me for a little while. I believe it reminded me that hearts can mend and love is ever present if you want it. Each love is unique and as we grow the heart needs different things.  

It's nice to be nostalgic for a bit, I think it cracked my heart open a little more, and when the heart opens the light is able to get in.